Celebrating Marv's life

The events to celebrate Marv's life took place over the weekend, and they were simply lovely. Marv would have loved everything about it, and it was exactly what he would have wanted. It is amazing to think of how much was able to happen in such a short period of time. Marv passed away on Saturday evening (3/21), and an open house and visitation happened one week later, with the service the day after that. I can't imagine how overwhelmed Jane must have been while she organized these events. 

I was glad to have had a role in helping to organize a photo slideshow of Marv's life, with family contributing photos. I have helped Marv with photo projects over the years, so I am pretty familiar with some of the stages of his life through photos, but there were plenty of new images that I hadn't seen. What a remarkable life that man lived! One thing I found to be pretty clear, is that Marv was surrounded by beautiful women his entire life. It was something he said often, but it was very evident in the photos. He was married three times to stunning women, had two beautiful daughters, two gorgeous and talented grand daughters and a striking step daughter....not to mention all the lovely women in my family. The other part that was so clear is that Marv lived a life of adventure. The period of time in his life when he was traveling with Jane and the kids is especially full. Here is a link to the full album, and this is a shorter video set to music. 

My cousin Andy and his wife Vanessa flew in on Friday night and stayed with me. We got up in the morning and hit the road for Prescott to be there in time for the open house. As we were getting close to town, Kristina (she and baby Annie flew in from Austin) texted to see where we were. We happened to be just a minute or two away from each other, so we met up so I could jump in with them. We were all staying in the guest house at Marv's, so it made sense for me to ride with them rather than making Andy and Vanessa get there earlier than they needed to be. It was so nice to be able to stay in the guest house! With Kristina having the baby with her, it was good to have a convenient place to put her down for naps, and it was also just really nice to be together in that house. It's always been a very special place to our family because it started as a dream that Marv and Joyce had for their retirement. She was instrumental in the design of the space, choosing some of the decor, fixtures, and other important elements. We were together for the ground breaking and dedication, but of course, she didn't live to see it completed. To be able to continue to spend time in this remarkably unique and spectacular house is pretty special to us. Speaking of special, when we arrived at the guest house, we saw these two sweaters on the table. They were the two that Joyce had knit for Marv and they were being gifted to us. Now I need it to be cold so I can wear this! 

Here's a look at the guest house, in case you forgot how awesome it is. Karen, Dawson, Kristina (and baby Annie) and I all stayed here comfortably. I'm pretty sure it's the most comfortable sofa bed that exists.

I'm surprised I didn't take more pictures of baby Annie, but this is the only one I have. She's such a cutie! It was fun to get to meet her for the first time. She's a super sweet baby, and was very good all weekend.

Jane chose to do the open house there, as she knew how important the house was to Marv.There was a viewing, something important to Marv for the purpose of closure, so we were able to see him and say goodbye. They had a great turnout of family and friends from all over. It was amazing to see how many made the trip to Prescott on such short notice, coming from places as far away as South Caroline, North Dakota, Texas, Ohio, and more. He made an impact on the lives of so many, and I'm sure even more would have been there if the could. The open house was very nice, with people gathering in various spaces to look at photos, tell stories, and enjoy the memories. After it was over, Jane had arranged for catering for the family and those staying at the house. As we were waiting for dinner, we had a really lovely moment watching the sunset on the patio while we told stories. I'm so grateful for that time specifically, it was a highlight of the weekend for me as it felt like what Marv would have wanted us doing. Jane said that whenever they were home, they'd sit out here with a glass of wine to watch the sunset. That's just what we did.  

You might recognize these faces if you read about our BVI trip. That's Susan and Bob on the left, and Susan's daughter and her fiance on the right. I didn't expect to see them again so soon after our trip, but it was nice that they could all make it to support Jane. 

I love this video of little Teddy walking around the fire in his diaper. And before you worry, no the metal was not hot. I think the metal as just too thick. 

After our time outside, we all went in to eat dinner before retiring for the night. I took this photo of Marv's office as I was walking out, as well as this awesome panorama of the house lit up at night. Isn't it just so lovely? What a place....

And here we are again, but this time, at sunrise. I got up early to spend some time with this view as the sun came up and the day began. When I was first woke up, I thought that maybe Kristina was using a sound machine with bird songs in their room. That's how loud the birds were, even inside the house. I've never heard birds so loud around here! It was a really peaceful start to what would undoubtedly be a heavy day. 

Once we were ready to go, we helped to get the flowers over to the golf club for the service. It took a couple car loads to transport all the beautiful flowers, but again, it was nice to feel helpful in any way we could be. I was originally hoping that Tyler could come up and live stream the service for family and friends who couldn't make the trip, but with it being Palm Sunday, it would have been tough for him to get out of his responsibilities at the church. Instead, I recorded it with my phone and uploaded it to You Tube. Here is a link to the full service if you're interested in watching. It was a truly meaninful service, full of heartfelt thoughts and memories of a man we all loved. 

Katilin and Gracee, Marv's granddaughters sang "I Go Walking" by Patsy Kline, Marv's favorite singer. They also sang this song for him at his 80th birthday party in Tuscany. 

Gus and Charles are very talented on the violin, and performed a really nice song at the end of the service, during what was meant to be the processional but everyone wanted to stay and listen to their song. Marv was so proud of these four, and he would have been so happy to listen to them perform. I can just see the smile on his face, it's the same one I saw while they sang to him on his birthday. 

I know there are others from my family who would have liked to be there, but we had a nice representation from the Winden side of the family. Kristina and I both spoke a bit after dinner, so at least we had a chance to share how special Marv was to our family. Kristina told a cute, quick story about how Marv always encouraged us to order the dessert. She said that Marv would always order multiple desserts at dinner knowing the ladies at the table probably wanted it but weren't going to order themselves. She used this opportunity to encourage everyone to go back up and get some dessert, because it's what Marv would have wanted. Speaking of food, the meal they served was so delicious, as expected. They had a full Thanksgiving dinner for all 200+ people there! Marv loved good food, and I've written many times about how important it was to him to have everyone gathered at dinner. It was only fitting that he'd have one last, great meal for all of us. 

I'm glad my family was able to be there with me today. Ava was supposed to work, but she got her shift covered because she knew it was important to me to have her there. 

I don't know how you say goodbye to someone who had such a big impact on your life, but it's something we tried our best to do this weekend. Marv was a very special man, and I'm honored to have had him in my life. My heart goes out to Jane and all of their kids and grandkids. He will be missed so much by all of us. I'll close with the poem that was in the program at the service. Jane had a really neat story about how she found it while looking through Marv's books, as if he was pointing her straight to it. 

Sunset--and at the end of the Trail!

Here the last faint footsteps fail

And I go on alone

Into the untracked ways;

I who in other days

Blazed many a road straight up

To the peaks that touch the sun--

But now the climbing is done...

Life, I have loved youwell;

Forget the rest when you tell--

This soul did not falter nor quail--

Nor shrink from the End of the Trail.

Sharlot Hall

A shocking loss

I received a terrible phone call on Saturday night from my aunt Karen. My uncle Marv passed away unexpectedly, likely of a massive heart attack, shortly after undergoing procedures on his heart. We are all in shock, and totally heartbroken. Only 6 days after celebrating his 83rd birthday, and 5 weeks after we returned from our amazing week in the British Virgin Islands, he's just gone. 

Marv was always very attentive to his health, and stayed on top of his health care. Once or twice a year, he went to Mayo Hospital in Rochester MN for complete overhauls--all the testing and screenings. He was up there for a routine procedure because he had been feeling short of breath after moderate exercise. They did a treadmill stress test and upon receiving the results, they did a procedure to put some stints in part of his heart. They kept him overnight, and discharged him the next day. Throughout this week, Jane kept asking if she should fly up there to be with him, but he and the doctors insisted they were routine procedures, and that she didn't need to worry about coming up there. When he was at his hotel the next day, he was feeling some back pain, so he went back in to the hospital. This is where I get a bit fuzzy on the details, but he had one or two more procedures, including more stints. After his final procedure, he was feeling good, and the doctors said everything went well. He called his wife, called his daughters, and assured them that he was doing well and would be home soon. This was around 4:30 on Saturday, and at 7 pm, he was gone. 

I know he was 83. I know he lived a very full life, filled with love and adventure. But, it's too soon. He had so much more to do, so many more adventures to take and memories to make with his loved ones. That's the thing about Marv, he cared so much about the people in his life. Just saying he was generous, doesn't do him justice. He was so much more than that. 

Marv came into my life when he started a long distance relationship with my aunt, Joyce in about 1993 or so. She was living in Boston, and from what I remember of the story, Marv had reached out to my mom (or my aunt Mary?) to get Joyce's number so he could give her a call when he was visiting. They did the long distance thing for a few years before she moved back to Williston. This was a huge win for us, as it brought Joyce back home where all of her family was missing her. As a teenager, it was exciting for me not only because Joyce was back, but because Marv lived in the biggest house in Williston and I was really excited to be able to say my aunt lived there. I know, sometimes the things that are important as kids seem so trivial later. But, in my defense, it was a really cool house. I was able to make so many great memories with my family in that house for the next 15 years or so. Joyce was the best host there ever was, and every family meal, Christmas, 4th of July party, pre-Winter Formal dinner with my friends, high school graduation party and lobster dinner flown in from Boston was a memory in the making. Man, I miss that house, and I really miss the two people who made it so special.

Marv was always a presence in my life during my younger years, and through the rest of Joyce's life. He gave great life advice, and was always happy to share his thoughts and opinions. One of the things he always insisted was that "men aren't worth a damn until they're 30." I remember when Dave turned 30 (a good 4-5 years after we got married), he said to Marv, "so am I good now?" Dave might have been an exception to that theory, but overall, Marv probably wasn't wrong. He also insisted that you should always spend money on good shoes. His dad owned a shoe store, and he really believed you should wear good shoes. He hated cilantro with a passion, always telling restaurants that he was allergic so there would be no chance it would make it onto his plate. He also disliked coconut, but loved a lemon meringue pie. He really liked good food, and you always knew you would get a great meal when you were eating with Marv. I've been to some of the best restaurants in my life with him, and now, some of those restaurants were in beautiful places around the world. 

After Joyce died, I didn't see Marv as much for awhile, as he was busy traveling the world with Jane and her kids. We were all so happy for him when he married Jane, and found comfort in his happiness after such a tragic loss. He loved being a step-dad to Gus and Charles, and they gave him a new sense of purpose as he helped them navigate their teenage years in a new home on the other side of the country. But, just because he had found someone else to be his partner in the next phase of his life, he never forgot about our family. He and Jane continued to include us, and stayed connected whenever possible. Sometimes I think about how different it could have been if he'd found a partner who wasn't welcoming to our family, and I realize how truly fortunate we all are to have remained in their lives. Truly wonderful humans, all of them. 

In recent years, Marv has really provided some amazing opportunities for me. He has quite literally shown me the world, and opened up my eyes to travel. Since 2023, I have visited 5 different countries, 3 with him and Jane. I'd never started traveling like this had I not been included in his 80th birthday trip to Italy. That trip started it all! Hawaii (with Dave, Jason and Janae in 2011), Italy, Portugal, and the British Islands, all thanks to Marv. When we were on this most recent trip, he made several comments about how happy he was to have all of us there with him. He said there was nothing he disliked more than having an empty room in a house on vacation. He wanted to fill up the rooms, sharing these adventures with those he loved. I know I'm so very fortunate to have had those experiences with Marv, and that BVI trip seems so much more special now. We never could have imagined that it would be his last trip. He was feeling great while we were there! I think about how he did the hike around The Baths, which was a couple miles, and included climbing some boulders inside a cave. I think it was more than he expected, but he did it. I can't even tell you how many countries he visited in the last 10 years or so. Travel was a huge part of their life, and he wanted to see it all. His motto in these last years was "all gas, no brake." He wanted to see it all, do it all, share it all while he could. And you know what? He did. I'm so unbelievably grateful to have had those opportunities to share time with him and Jane in these last few years. He has been such an important part of my life for so long, and it is really hard to believe he's gone. He will be missed by so many. My heart breaks for Jane and her kids, Marv's daughters and grand kids, and all of us who were touched by his kindness, humor and generosity. He was a truly great man, and I'm lucky to have had him in my life. 

Click here to read more about Marv's life through his obituary. 

Flashback--my first cars

I'm not sure if I've ever shared this photo, but it popped up as a memory recently so I saved it. My first car was a 1982 Nissan Stanza hatchback. It was blue with pinstripes, and my grandparents gave it to me when I was 15. I drove it until I was 18, when I got my next car. This isn't my actual car, but it's a photo of one very similar. I'm sure I have an actual picture somewhere, but it's probably in a box in the closet where most of my childhood memories live. This looks just like it, minus the pinstripes. It was a stick shift, of course, and it was a great first car. 

This is the memory that popped up for me which made me think to share. When I was a senior in high school, I got a blue 1997 Dodge Neon, but didn't keep that long. My dad bought it from a friend who was notorious for selling cars that had been fixed up after being in accidents, and the Neon was never repaired very well. Instead, he was able to get a 1994 (?) Saturn SC2 coupe. It was so cool! It had a sunroof and automatic seatbelts, and was stick shift as well. Sometimes I miss driving stick. When I told my kids it had automatic seatbelts, Tyler said "what are those?" This is the car that I drove down to AZ when I moved here. I wasn't sure what this photo was from, but Sadie (who remembers everything) told me it was a road trip down to Nogales that we took for our college spanish class with Senior Rubio circa 1998 or 99. I highly doubt that trip would be allowed today (students driving themselves to Mexico for class), but I remember it being fun! I think it might have just been a day trip, but I don't remember. It looks like I'm changing my windshield wiper? I also don't know who that is in my passenger seat, but Sadie must have taken the photo. This was a great little car! 

Exciting first at trapeze

My favorite coach, Katie, has been offering workshops at George's to people outside of our community. She brings a catcher with her, and runs the workshop for 2-3 days. This week, she's bringing another catcher from Mystere, Petter. He's widely considered one of the best catchers in the world, so this is quite the honor! The workshop group flies during the day, and then we get to work with them in the evening. It's a win win for everyone! Never have I thrown a trick to someone who's caught a quad. My split should be pretty easy. Petter brought his wife and their 3 year old with them, and they all had a great time. It sounds like it was fun for him to get back to what trapeze was like when he first started working at Club Med. He even caught a couple tricks for the first time, and likely the oldest person he's ever caught (Bob). He's used to catching big tricks from professionals, so he really enjoyed his time working with us. Glad to hear it too, because I'd love to have more time to catch with him. There's a reason he's considered one of the best! Catching with him was a dream. 

They were here for 3 nights, but I missed the middle night because I was in Munds Park with my girlfriends. Going into this week, I was mentally preparing myself to take my half time hock salto out of safety lines. Last time Katie was here, she encouraged me to get ready for that, as she thought the trick was looking good and would be safe to the net. On Tuesday night, the trick wasn't as good as it's been lately, so I thought I might be off the hook for having to take off the lines this time. But, on Thursday, they were good. It was the lines that were causing issues on Tuesday, as they kept getting hooked on the bar and messing up the trick. Katie insisted it was ready, and strongly encouraged me (in a way only Katie can do) to take it out. I thought about it for a bit and then decided to get brave and do it. It's been quite a few years since I took a new trick out of lines to the net for the first time, so the nerves were definitely flowing. This trick is quick-about 4 seconds from when I jump off the board to when I hit the net. Katie yelled to me "it's less than 5 seconds of fear, you got this!" The trick has been consistent, so I actually felt pretty good. I did it, and it was great! I especially loved the excitement from the team on the ground, and the happy dance Katie did at the end. You have to check out this video, and this longer version too. Love all the hugs! It makes me so happy, and I'm pretty proud of myself! I did two more, and they were all safe. I'm excited about this! It's fun to have something new to work on. It'll be awhile before I'm ready to throw this across to a catcher out of lines, but this first step is out of the way. I'm so grateful to my amazing coach for her encouragement. I'd never done this without her! I'm so fortunate to be coached by the best, and glad to call her a friend. After I got my hock saltos out of the way, I threw a couple splits to Petter. Here is a video of that. Next time, I'll throw him a few more tricks and really work on launching the return to the moon. 

Munds with the girls

Miraculously, we were able to all agree on a date to have a sleepover at Heather's cabin in Munds Park. We're all on Spring Break, so this was perfect! With everyone's busy lives, it's really tough to find more than a couple hours here and there to get together. The fact that we found 24 hours to get away is pretty unusual. I wish we had more time, but I'm happy with what we got. We didn't have much planned other than time together to catch up on life and stories from the past. Kelly brought a pack of get to know you cards, and it brought up stories from our college years, and before. We could talk for hours, and I guess we did. It was really great to have this time with some of my friends who have known me the longest. I'm so grateful for this group of women. 

When we first arrived, we went out for a hike in the forest behind Heather's cabin. What we thought would be about 2.5 miles was closer to 4 as we got a bit turned around, but it was lovely. Heather's cabin is such a great place for a getaway, especially when you want to get out of the heat. It was still a bit warm up here, but at least it was only double digits, unlike down in the valley. 

We took our time getting ready on Thursday morning, but we hit the road around 10:30 to head back home. Heather stayed up there, as her family was meeting her to spend a few days of their break at the cabin. I'd love to get up there again this summer, but this place stays pretty busy as an AirBnb. I'm glad I had this time with my friends! I can't wait for next time. 

Go see this movie

I have listened to the audio book of Project Hail Mary twice, and I was so excited for the movie to come out. Dave and Tyler have both listened to it as well, and we all loved it. It's probably the best audiobook I've ever listened to, and I highly recommend it. Dave had the option to get tickets to an early screening of the movie in Imax, so we all went together. Ava didn't know anything about it, and I was thinking about how cool it could be to go into this movie having no idea what was going to happen. She enjoyed it too, even though she hadn't read the book. I was so happy that the movie was this good. It's often said that the movie is never as good as the book, but this is an example where it comes awfully close. Seeing it in Imax was another level of intensity. I would love to see it again in the theater. Like Rocky would say, amaze amaze amaze. Definitely a big thumbs down (you'll understand that when you see it). 

It's funny, it's heartwarming, it's a story of friendship and sacrifice. I loved everything about it. 

This photo is not connected, but it's how I'm spending some of my Spring Break. The weather is unseasonably HOT for March, with us setting records for how early we're hitting the triple digits. That does not bode well for our summer. It's going to be a long one. I have a feeling I will say "why do we live here?" many times between now and October. 

Hike to Flatiron

 I had the chance to hike up to the top of Flatiron in the Superstition Mountains to kick off my Spring Break. We have an Adventure club at my campus, and my friend Cara is the advisor. They had this hike scheduled for two different dates in the fall, but both got rained out. Luckily, I was able to make this rescheduled date, and was able to return to the top for the first time since 2016. I've gone twice in the last year or so, but didn't go all the way to the top. There were a few more students who were supposed to join us, but we said we were leaving at 7 am sharp, and they were late. It was going to be a hot day, so we wanted to get started. 

Flatiron is considered one of the most difficult hikes in the Phoenix area, and the last time I did the entire trail, I was sore for days. It was definitely challenging again, but I must be in better shape than I was 10 years ago as I felt perfectly fine the next day. I guess all of the strength training I've done has helped me be prepared for a hike like this. 

The landscape of the Superstition Mountains is so unique and beautifully rugged. It's really crazy that this is so close to the city. It's easy to forget when you're out in the middle of it. 

The last 3/4 of a mile of this trail is the hardest part, with a lot of scrambling up the rocks with no clear trail visible. At this point, you just need to put your head down and put one foot in front of the other, and use your hands just as much as your feet. That's Flatiron behind me, we're almost there! 

We made it! It is quite the accomplishment, and worth all the pain, heavy breathing, and hard work. It took a bit longer than it probably would have if it was just me and Cara (without the students), but we had to take a few more breaks for them. This is a good trail to do early in the morning because the sun is coming up behind the mountain. As soon as it creeps over, you're dealing with quite a bit more heat. 

We were proud of these two students for toughing it out with us! They did great. 

At one point on the way down, I realized I was quite a ways ahead of the group. When we got about a mile down from the top, we ran into two of the students who were supposed to meet us. They definitely looked like they were struggling, so we encouraged them to turn around and join us for the trip back. Cara stayed with them for most of the walk down, and I was with the other two. I stopped at Siphon Draw (the rocky wash area) and waited for them. 

Cara took this photo of me waiting in the shade. I think it looks like I fell over or something. I was fine, just taking a break up against the cool rock wall. 

Once we got past some of the rough areas at the top, the rest of the way down was pretty manageable--other than the heat towards the end. I was trying to get to the bathrooms at the campground though, so I was trying to move a bit quicker than the rest of the group. 

It was a great accomplishment to complete this hike, and I felt good the whole way. I'm excited to do it again, likely when it cools off again. I could probably go again this season if I get out there early enough, but we'll see. Anyone want to go with me? I know Ava does, but she needs her back to feel better before she attempts this one. After we finished, Cara and I stopped at a great BBQ place for lunch and a hard earned beer. Not sure a cold beer ever tastes as good as it does after a long, hard hike. This was a great way to kick off Spring Break!